My Greatest Fear In One Word

A few years ago, I asked someone (JMCA) what his greatest fear was - one of the questions I ask to understand people and what drives them. He didn't spare two seconds before he responded (I wouldn't tell you what his response was but rest assured, it would stick for a very long time). Few minutes after I tried to inquire why he was afraid of what he had told me, something happened.

In a still voice - one hoping to get the same response as his- he asked, "So what about you? What is your greatest fear."FAILURE! I answered. I could sense the confusion/amazement in his stare. 

How can anyone ever be afraid to fail? With the answers to those questions not coming as fast as he wanted, he decided to ask;

"Why are you afraid to fail, failure is the only thing that proves that we have tried..."

 ........he went on and on and on. With a gentle tap on his arm (my way of telling him to at least let me explain),  I said...

Failure gears me to work harder. I am not afraid to fail. Instead, I am afraid to fail you, my family, my friends and all those who believe in me" I said. Suddenly, he heaved a sigh of relief as he gave me a look that I understood as "awww how sweet".

I mean, I told JMCA the absolute truth.

My worry has never been to fail my exams, a job test or even a visa interview (I get super upset and disappointed when that happens, but I move on very quickly). My fear has been that of failing the people who look up to me, believe in me and sometimes stand up for me. Those who truly love me, who wouldn't spare anything in an attempt to show how important I am to the world.

One of the great things I have done for myself is to successfully identify and acknowledge the existence of my fears and the threat they might pose. But that's only the basic step. Ensuring that they do not see the light of day becomes major. So here I am, pursuing success and all the principles that enable one to succeed. I've learnt some things to share with you.

Success has one enemy, which is our belief system. People who struggle to produce the results they want also have shared beliefs, which starkly contrast with the beliefs of the more successful.

Here are seven enemies that alone or together destroy the mindset necessary to succeed and reach your goals:

Ungrateful: Without gratitude, you will never develop the mindset that brings success. A lack of gratitude is the seed of negativity and cynicism. Destroy this enemy by answering the question, “What are you grateful for right now?”

Apathy: A lack of enthusiasm, or more general indifference, is the surest path to mediocrity. Success and the results necessary to bring it must be passionately pursued. Cure yourself by developing a bigger mission, a bigger reason “why” you must succeed. If you struggle, list the people who are counting on you.

Victimhood: The belief that the world is acting on you and that you are powerless to shape your future is the victim’s mindset. Success in any endeavour comes to those who believe they have the power to act and the power to change things. Make a list of your challenges, and then list what actions you can take to produce the desired results. Couple that with a list of available resources, and get help where needed.

Learned Helplessness: Belief that you can’t do something or that you can’t learn to do it will repel success away from you. Success knows that what one man can do, another man can do. Inoculate yourself from this belief by getting your hands dirty and trying the things you struggle to do well. Over time, your competence will grow.

No Vision: Without a vision of what your future result looks like, there is no drive, no motivation to do what is necessary to move towards it. Your vision becomes your reality. Develop a vision of where you want to be in three years. Dream big. No one is compelled by a small vision.

Fear of being judged:  Who says we can't be judged? Men are judged either by their good works or their wrongdoings. Nobody was appointed the judge quite alright, but does that really stop those who make a hobby out of the act of judging others? Absolutely not! I believe success hides from people who fear being judged by others. The critics aren’t the people for whom you do your work. Success comes to those who “put themselves out there.” Most people won’t care what you do; they’ll ignore you. The people who do care will applaud you for doing what you do. The critics will never love you no matter what, so ignore them and get moving.

Lack of Discipline:  A wise man once said, "To have what you want tomorrow, you have to forgo what it is you want today". I have learned that success comes to those willing to suffer a little now and delay their gratification. Make a list of daily disciplines, and keep those disciplines. This is the surest path to success: the daily commitment to act to further one’s goals.

- Which of the seven enemies will you battle with this week?
- Which of these prevents you from producing the results you want from your life?
- Do you know that each of these seven enemies is rooted in some fear that lives inside you?

I guess the question is, WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF??