My First Letter To My Daughter

Dear Daughter,

It’s not easy in today’s society to truly feel beautiful. We as women are bombarded everywhere we turn by images and voices telling us we are imperfect creatures. Millions of Naira/Dollars/Pounds/Euros are made by various companies and advertisers telling us WE can achieve perfection via the purchase of some “beauty” product; eating or NOT eating certain foods, exercising with this piece of equipment or that one, camouflaging or uncovering certain body parts…Lord! It never ends. Unfortunately, for many women, we ‘buy’ into it, literally.

We spend Naira after Naira on cosmetic products (that one by one pile up in our “make-up” drawer), exercise videos and exercise equipment by one ‘perfect’ physical specimen after another (who, because of our hard-earned money can now afford liposuction), chemical processes and extensions in our hair to achieve the most “flattering’ styles, we offer bodies up to the sacrificial alter of beauty to be plucked, waxed, shaved, exfoliated, nipped, tucked and for what? 

So we can continue to chase the always unattainable ideal beauty?

Don’t get me wrong, I prefer to shave my legs, wear nail polish, lipstick and make-up (when I know I’m going somewhere groovier than the grocery store), and I don’t wear socks with sandals.

But I’d like to think that if one day I awoke and couldn’t wear one cosmetic product, relax my ethnic hair or lose that extra 5 lbs; I would know that I was still a beautiful woman.

 And extraneous physical accoutrements aside, I would not cease to be a lovely unique human being.

I look into the future and dread the day when you come home crying (as many kids do) because someone at school said you're ugly. As we all know, kids can be cruel and often repeat what they hear and learn at home.

I would like to be able to tell you with my loving words and show you by my life example that you're a beautiful girl. I'd love you to see that you're beautiful, not because of what you wear on your body, apply to your face or hair, or how much you weigh.

**Thinking Aloud**

I want my daughter to grow up with the knowledge that true beauty is what comes from inside and radiates outside in the acts of kindness and consideration you give to others, the way you love and respect yourself, the joy you take in sharing time with family and friends and the sacrifices you make so that others can be happy.

True beauty is loving yourself regardless of shade, size, financial or educational situation. I hope you grow up in this increasingly appearance-obsessed world and can pass every reflection of yourself with a smile of security and peace. I am only just reaching that place myself.

It has taken me many years of spending and self-doubt to finally realize that;

You cannot find in a bottle that which can only come from within

Yours Truly,
Mum.