Reflection: Where Employers Get It Wrong With Women

Sometime in 2016, a recruiter was trying to poach me for a client (Tech. multinational) who needed a solution sales expert to manage a new - maybe not so new in the market - solution.

After several conversations with her (the recruiter), she thought I was well-qualified for the job and scheduled a meeting with her client.

It's the day of the chat - interview -, I walked into the office and, as usual, asked to see the person whose name I had been given (results from my research said that he was - still is - the country manager). I knew what he looked like - never met him before but seen pictures of him online.

"He's not in," said the lady at the front desk with a smile. I gently took a seat at the reception - waiting & stylishly observing the environment, attitude and generally anything that gave me an idea of what their culture is - I don't mean to sound proud, but if the culture doesn't work for me, I'm sorry I won't 'WORK.'

Several minutes after my wait, he walks in. Great! I thought, "Now, let's get this over with". I got up and stepped towards him to introduce myself and make acquaintance. I had barely taken 3 steps when I heard "wait, they will bring you to my office when I'm ready". I responded with a smile and thought, "wait, he's the country manager?" Don't blame me; I just happened to have met country managers whose politeness, humility, friendliness and CHARACTER beat me - I mean have you met the Country Manager of Google Nigeria? Juliet will smile and give you a handshake and warm greeting even when she doesn't remember ever meeting you (talk about multinational cum brand representation).

Several minutes after the wait, I was invited into a room with 3 (two male and 1 female) people seated and ready to bombard me with questions. The two men I knew already - I looked them up - but the lady, I guess I missed that part of the memo. Hehe.

The Q&A session began - I'd save you the details- but two questions stuck and have stayed with me:

1. How old is your child?
2. Do you have a car?

These questions didn't stick because they were asked but because of the feedback after they were answered.

Question 1 - How old is your child?

My Response: A little over 17months

His feedback: Ohhhh, you'd be going on maternity leave very soon.

My response: it will happen when it happens (I'm not, particularly one who would discuss my private life or my plans for my family in a board room - in fact, I'd rather not discuss my family life at work)

Honestly, I felt that my competence at that point was being decided on by my feminism, motherhood goals and love for family. Hence I was turned-off and forced to ask myself again, "he's the country manager of a tech multinational"? Hmmm. If I wasn't turned off, my response would have been, "Maternity leave has NEVER stopped me from delivering on the numbers.

In fact, one of the best deals I closed as a salesperson was closed while I was on maternity leave (3,000 employees, 800 licences - renewable annually) - actually, barely 15 days after I "went under the knife in far away United States of America - defying time difference, surgical pains, the demands of a newborn - I was alone - and even postpartum amnesia.

Actually, if I really really wanted the job, I would have gone further to tell him that the quarter I was on maternity leave was the quarter that the revenue from a new business that I was solely responsible for increased by over 2x - Somehow, my boss forgot to give me credit - actually, I remember him sending me an email expressing his disappointment at my inability to make it to a pre-scheduled weekly meeting with a partner (the partner had called to complain but I thought he'd have my back on that one) - I WAS ON MATERNITY LEAVE!

Anyways, I resigned a few months after I returned from maternity - I was not about to go 'above & beyond' for an employer who didn't appreciate the sacrifice.

Question 2 - Do you have a Car?

My Response: Yes, I do

His Feedback: I don't mean your husband's car, o!

Ok, now I really need an answer "this is the country manager"?

At this point, the essential organs in my body were already out the door. I was hearing but not listening, looking but unable to visualise. In fact, 'omo I tire' (I felt frustrated - in Nigerian pidgin). This man hasn't just questioned my competence as a mother but my ability to be self-dependent as a woman. That's it! I'm done.

Don't get me wrong... I appreciated the honesty; I knew I wouldn't get a call after I left, but not as much as I appreciated knowing why.

Dear country manager/recruiter/chauvinist, if you're reading this, here are a few things you should fix/get right:

Women do not suddenly become liabilities when they get pregnant or become mothers - if the creator thought you had it all figured out, he wouldn't be putting you to sleep or gone the extra mile to create HELP(woman). Better still, how do you think we're able to manage the home, the kids, our jobs & YOU and still come out tops?

We are not all waiting for a husband or 'sugar daddy' to dangle the keys as a birthday/anniversary present.

We've got a game too. Enough to take ourselves vacationing, car shopping, or however we deem fit to get the treats.

I hope he reads this and somehow learns that..

the best man is usually not the one with zero baggage. 

As for me, I'd forgive that he hasn't read my LinkedIn profile summary; give him the benefit of the doubt and move on. *wink*

And yes, if you have ever made a wrong call because your conscious or unconscious bias led you to think that a woman is unable to deliver on the job as a result of our marital or parental status, well, here's my feedback "YOUR BAD, YOUR LOSS."